Last weekend, I decided to attack our family room hearth with vengeance and a paintbrush. Living with its exposed red brick for the past seven years left me with the itch to give it new life. I figured that, while our house was in demolition zone and covered in drywall dust with the renovation of three bathrooms, a couple of cans of Benjamin Moore and some brushes would not only fit right in with the boxed sinks and faucets in the middle of our front hallway; it would instantly lift both the wall—and my spirits—for spring. Just in time for our daughter’s grad party next weekend and the more than one hundred people who will be filling every square inch of our house. Amazing what a party can do for one’s home renovation plans…
A mere half-hour into it, I wasn’t positively sure if I needed to paint the brick and the grout, or just the brick. A quick call to my artist girlfriend confirmed that yes, if one is painting brick, that nasty paint-sucking grout needs to get a couple of coats, too. So as we briefly chatted on the phone about this massive weekend project of mine, she half-joked about the fact that she was standing at her sink scrubbing dried-on concrete from beneath her fingernails. While I was painting my ten foot wall of bricks, she was re-tiling her pool. And our husbands? Mine was at the shooting range; hers was at the golf course.
Now, while I admit to enjoying the whole renovation thing and the many shopping trips to hardware stores and design centers that necessarily accompany these projects, I happen to like it when my husband likewise engages in the process. Tackles the hard stuff. Does all of the heavy lifting. I’m happy to plant the flowers if he’ll dig the beds. Happy to change the light bulbs if he’ll hang the chandelier.
But here I was: six-foot ladder at my toes, paintbrush and primer in hand, ready to reinvent my family room wall. And my girlfriend, who could certainly afford to hire a pool man to unearth loose tiles, was picking concrete off her manicured nails. And both of our husbands were AWOL. What was going on here? Are women taking on more of the tough home renovation projects in this economic recovery? Are we renovating more in lieu of switching out of our homes altogether? Taking more initiative in getting our homes just right? While I understand that two women do not a trend nor sample size make, it left me with one of those “What’s wrong with this picture?” pauses. So I decided to look at the numbers.
Indeed, with current market conditions, homeowners are looking for ways to not only add value to their homes, but to get more enjoyment out of them as well. And women are taking the lead. Even before the Great Recession, in a 2005 Home Improvement Research Institute Survey, women initiated 45 percent of all kitchen remodeling projects and 43 percent of all bathroom projects, compared to 34 percent and 36 percent, respectively, for men. (1) In my own case, my husband insisted that our bathroom renovation was not only initiated by me, but that it was being done “to satisfy me”—not him—until he saw the beginning stages (new tile laid, shiny faucets in place, old Broadway lighting removed) all shockingly more magnificent that the twenty-three year-old products with which we had been living since we bought the house seven years ago. His later confession revealed that these down-to-the-studs bathroom renovations were not only true value-add’s to our real estate, but that they would bring him immense satisfaction as well when all was said and done.
It seems that women are becoming increasingly comfortable in this role of House CEO, or, as I prefer to call her, “SheEO.” There are now even renovation books and renovation magazines written explicitly for the female audience. And tool lines devoted to us, too. The data supports this trend: After married couples, single women are the largest group of home buyers in the U.S. In this year, the number of women-headed households is expected to rise to nearly 31 million, representing about 28% of the U.S. total, according to a 2003 Fannie Mae study. (2) Big box retailers Home Depot, Lowes’s and Sears are all jumping on the female home renovator bandwagon. In a 2004 survey conducted by Sears, 83% of 603 female homeowners polled said working with tools makes them feel independent. Apparently, these same women said that they “admire women proficient in home repair.”(3)
From my own point of view as a Financial Advisor, I enjoy tackling projects which will yield points in favor of my bottom line over those that do not. I’d rather paint my fireplace hearth than hire someone to do it for me. It was not only emotionally and physically satisfying; it rendered just that much more money in our retirement nest egg for me to enjoy later.
Ditto for the project I took on over Memorial Day weekend, when I antiqued a reproduction country French chest that I bought for our master bathroom. A weekend of sanding, painting, staining and waxing saved me more than two thousand dollars in not having to commission a cabinet maker to build me a custom vanity. And a simple retrofitting of sinks and faucets will give it a look that no one else will be able to replicate.
I believe it is this take-charge desire for mastery, combined with sheer determination and motivation to move towards independence in a variety of areas, that is driving the most impact for this new generation of women. Desiring to understand how things work, particularly in traditional male-dominated bastions like the corporate boardroom and the construction workroom, we women want to play in these same sandboxes and come out ahead.
My mother-in-law gave me only one piece of advice on my wedding day: “From the front door to the back door: that is Carolina’s. Everything else, that’s Ernie’s.” Old-fashioned advice as it was, it has served us well in our twenty-eight year marriage. Alas, painting the hearth was clearly in my territory and I grabbed it. The bathroom renovations, too. But that pergola I’m dying to construct on my back deck? It’s Ernie’s decision. And he doesn’t want it. Sadly, he wins. It is Father’s Day, after all.
NOTES:
1. Better Homes and Gardens Real Estate LLC, 2010, www.bhgrealestate.com
2. Tsao, Amy, “Special Report: Marketing to Women,” BusinessWeek Online, (2005: Feb 14)
3. Ibid.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Mother's Day Reflection
When I asked our oldest son last year, pre-college graduation, if he would prefer a large gift or a “book of his life,” without hesitation he responded: “”I want a book of my life.”
I’ve been working on this book for, oh, something like ten years. I can’t admit to starting it when he was a baby, for three siblings of his quickly followed and life got, well, wonderfully chaotic. Nor did I get a move on at the time he told me he wanted this. I have always kept lots of stuff on my kids, photos notwithstanding. My family room chest of drawers is full of recital programs, plane ticket stubs, Playbills, postcards and letters from them requesting money from the tooth fairy. Built-in cabinets hold treasured family photo albums, the Master Copy of our family history. On the floor of my kitchen pantry, I have a large basket containing folders of each of their school years, filled with report cards, progress reports, standardized test scores, certificates of achievement. Recital schedules and sports team rosters reside in yet a different stack of folders in a matching basket next to it. Plenty of fodder for “books of their lives.”
And so I have tried to diligently work on this book on those weekend nights when I was too tired to write or do laundry, but not quite tired enough to assume a horizontal position on the sofa. Happily, almost to the day one year after he donned that cap and gown (the same ones that are now lying in the guest room chest of drawers, I finished the book of my oldest kid’s life. On Mother’s Day. Deliberately.
I wanted to spend this one celebrated day of the year celebrating the growth of my son. For I find few things more satisfying than quiet reflection on my children’s growth. As little as I take time to just sit and be still, I do love to sit back every once in a while and simply reflect back on the moments which make a life. Looking at photos of my baby in my embrace. Or in his grandmother’s arms. The smile arising from his first taste of ice cream. Running in the waves with his brother at the beach. Christmases. And later years, with high school buddies. Prom dates.
As I added to his bulging book of more than one hundred and forty pages of a life full of moments, I was able to recall those times, as well as the emotions that I felt at the time. And I was filled with satisfaction. Deep, enormously gratifying satisfaction.
It’s hard to feel this when one is in the trenches of parenting. When long nights deprive you of sleep, crying babies deprive you of an uninterrupted dinner and curious toddlers deprive you of shower time pleasures. It’s hard to feel this when your teens are going through a particularly annoying, unappreciative phase. When they are ashamed to walk next to you at the mall. Or friend you on facebook.
But by the time they get to twenty-three, they are once again happy to call you Mom. Happy to travel a distance to see you. Happy to give up plans for the weekend in order to have dinner with you on Mother’s Day.
Assembling a book of my son’s life doesn’t make me a better mother. It affirms that my kids were moving swiftly and solidly on their own paths, carving out lives with strong wings, straight heads and bright eyes for their futures. The fact that I made a contribution. Ahh. That’s the joy of motherhood.
It was with this deep, enormously gratifying feeling that l drove my son to the train station to catch his ride back to New York. As I stepped out of the car to give him a full body hug, he said, “Hey Mom, I left three pieces of dirty clothes on the floor ‘cuz I didn’t feel like putting them in my backpack. You can wash ‘em for me, right?”
You can’t make this stuff up.
Happy Mother’s Day.
I’ve been working on this book for, oh, something like ten years. I can’t admit to starting it when he was a baby, for three siblings of his quickly followed and life got, well, wonderfully chaotic. Nor did I get a move on at the time he told me he wanted this. I have always kept lots of stuff on my kids, photos notwithstanding. My family room chest of drawers is full of recital programs, plane ticket stubs, Playbills, postcards and letters from them requesting money from the tooth fairy. Built-in cabinets hold treasured family photo albums, the Master Copy of our family history. On the floor of my kitchen pantry, I have a large basket containing folders of each of their school years, filled with report cards, progress reports, standardized test scores, certificates of achievement. Recital schedules and sports team rosters reside in yet a different stack of folders in a matching basket next to it. Plenty of fodder for “books of their lives.”
And so I have tried to diligently work on this book on those weekend nights when I was too tired to write or do laundry, but not quite tired enough to assume a horizontal position on the sofa. Happily, almost to the day one year after he donned that cap and gown (the same ones that are now lying in the guest room chest of drawers, I finished the book of my oldest kid’s life. On Mother’s Day. Deliberately.
I wanted to spend this one celebrated day of the year celebrating the growth of my son. For I find few things more satisfying than quiet reflection on my children’s growth. As little as I take time to just sit and be still, I do love to sit back every once in a while and simply reflect back on the moments which make a life. Looking at photos of my baby in my embrace. Or in his grandmother’s arms. The smile arising from his first taste of ice cream. Running in the waves with his brother at the beach. Christmases. And later years, with high school buddies. Prom dates.
As I added to his bulging book of more than one hundred and forty pages of a life full of moments, I was able to recall those times, as well as the emotions that I felt at the time. And I was filled with satisfaction. Deep, enormously gratifying satisfaction.
It’s hard to feel this when one is in the trenches of parenting. When long nights deprive you of sleep, crying babies deprive you of an uninterrupted dinner and curious toddlers deprive you of shower time pleasures. It’s hard to feel this when your teens are going through a particularly annoying, unappreciative phase. When they are ashamed to walk next to you at the mall. Or friend you on facebook.
But by the time they get to twenty-three, they are once again happy to call you Mom. Happy to travel a distance to see you. Happy to give up plans for the weekend in order to have dinner with you on Mother’s Day.
Assembling a book of my son’s life doesn’t make me a better mother. It affirms that my kids were moving swiftly and solidly on their own paths, carving out lives with strong wings, straight heads and bright eyes for their futures. The fact that I made a contribution. Ahh. That’s the joy of motherhood.
It was with this deep, enormously gratifying feeling that l drove my son to the train station to catch his ride back to New York. As I stepped out of the car to give him a full body hug, he said, “Hey Mom, I left three pieces of dirty clothes on the floor ‘cuz I didn’t feel like putting them in my backpack. You can wash ‘em for me, right?”
You can’t make this stuff up.
Happy Mother’s Day.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Playing Hurt
While not a great spectator of any sport, watching football from the sofa sidelines-- without a clue of the rules and regulations and, unless it’s painfully obvious, understanding what’s really going on--amounts to a way in which I can invest my time with my family that’s both fun and memorable. And this year, with its nearly epic proportions, one would be hard-pressed to spend the night doing anything else. The nation has a soft spot for the Saints and in our collective hearts of hearts, truly wanted them to win. We Americans not only like Underdogs; we wanted a New Orleans miracle. But I, the football-rules-deficient casual-observer, proclaimed out loud to my husband and son, who both understand the game in its entirety and invest in it emotionally, screaming at the tv with each great pass or play, that there was just no way the Saints could get past Peyton Manning, and so they’d better prepare themselves for a Colt’s victory.
We all know the outcome. It made for great football, even to those of us who remain clueless. The second half revitalization of the Saints was breathtakingly magical, with physicality by its players that left all of us spellbound.
I love watching the Super Bowl because I love watching Champions. Noticing their moves both on and off the field. Most football players play hurt most of the time. Football, as a physically grueling sport, demands of its players unnatural moves. It places strain on body parts that was never intended. Bodies are not really supposed to move that way. Ankles, knees, shoulders. They all take on unusual levels of stress and strain. Its players can’t help but play hurt. And watching Champions play hurt reveals more about their inner character that playing pain-free ever will. There are lessons learned while playing hurt. And it’s hard to hide them.
Sometimes when we play hurt we understand what's going on. We might have taken our eye off the ball in our work or in our relationships and we are now paying the price for inattention. We are playing hurt through separation or unemployment and we saw it coming. We accept the hurt as part of the consequences of something that we did.
Sometimes we play hurt because that is simply the natural state of life. An aging grandparent dies and we play hurt through the grieving process. But we understand that all good lives must come to an end and we are grateful to have been in relationship with a loved one for as long as we did. Sometimes accidents happen and we agonize over the injuries sustained by a loved one. Yet we understand that healing will eventually occur and that broken bones and broken spirits will eventually mend.
And then sometimes we play hurt through life events that just do not make any sense to us. Never will. Events that seemingly came out of nowhere and yet, have wound up having the most profound impact on our lives. Collapse of major corporations. Collapse of economies. Collapse of countries. If one understands that a butterfly flapping its wings in South America can affect the temperature in Minnesota, one can somewhat understand how the credit perils in Greece might affect stock prices on the New York Stock Exchange and our retirement plans. We are all connected. And so, when seemingly disparate events happen on the other side of the world, we play hurt through the unexpected and oftentimes sudden consequences. Of careers all at once in freefall. Homes foreclosed. College dreams dashed.
Displacement. Disheartenment. Serious playing hurt. I sense an abundance of that this year. Not only do I see it in my practice and read about it in the business journals; I feel it. Playing hurt this year finds many of us with punched-in-the-gut pain.
It is not the playing hurt that separates you from me or from anyone else. We are all playing hurt to one degree or another. It's how you choose to play when you play hurt that separates you from the pact. Playing joyfully while playing hurt is the most difficult thing in the world to do. It is our ability to play hurt with some level of abiding joy that marks us as victorious in this daily thing called life. Being able to infuse joy into the patterns of living—while playing hurt—is one of our greatest earthly challenges. It’s how the champions play. It’s what gets teams into the Super Bowl.
Playing hurt is never as much fun as playing pain-free. Not in football. Not in life. But playing hurt is something that, every now and then, we are forced to play. And sometimes through it, but certainly in the end, we will see beauty in our strength. In playing like a Champion.
Sending you all best wishes this week,
Carolina
We all know the outcome. It made for great football, even to those of us who remain clueless. The second half revitalization of the Saints was breathtakingly magical, with physicality by its players that left all of us spellbound.
I love watching the Super Bowl because I love watching Champions. Noticing their moves both on and off the field. Most football players play hurt most of the time. Football, as a physically grueling sport, demands of its players unnatural moves. It places strain on body parts that was never intended. Bodies are not really supposed to move that way. Ankles, knees, shoulders. They all take on unusual levels of stress and strain. Its players can’t help but play hurt. And watching Champions play hurt reveals more about their inner character that playing pain-free ever will. There are lessons learned while playing hurt. And it’s hard to hide them.
Sometimes when we play hurt we understand what's going on. We might have taken our eye off the ball in our work or in our relationships and we are now paying the price for inattention. We are playing hurt through separation or unemployment and we saw it coming. We accept the hurt as part of the consequences of something that we did.
Sometimes we play hurt because that is simply the natural state of life. An aging grandparent dies and we play hurt through the grieving process. But we understand that all good lives must come to an end and we are grateful to have been in relationship with a loved one for as long as we did. Sometimes accidents happen and we agonize over the injuries sustained by a loved one. Yet we understand that healing will eventually occur and that broken bones and broken spirits will eventually mend.
And then sometimes we play hurt through life events that just do not make any sense to us. Never will. Events that seemingly came out of nowhere and yet, have wound up having the most profound impact on our lives. Collapse of major corporations. Collapse of economies. Collapse of countries. If one understands that a butterfly flapping its wings in South America can affect the temperature in Minnesota, one can somewhat understand how the credit perils in Greece might affect stock prices on the New York Stock Exchange and our retirement plans. We are all connected. And so, when seemingly disparate events happen on the other side of the world, we play hurt through the unexpected and oftentimes sudden consequences. Of careers all at once in freefall. Homes foreclosed. College dreams dashed.
Displacement. Disheartenment. Serious playing hurt. I sense an abundance of that this year. Not only do I see it in my practice and read about it in the business journals; I feel it. Playing hurt this year finds many of us with punched-in-the-gut pain.
It is not the playing hurt that separates you from me or from anyone else. We are all playing hurt to one degree or another. It's how you choose to play when you play hurt that separates you from the pact. Playing joyfully while playing hurt is the most difficult thing in the world to do. It is our ability to play hurt with some level of abiding joy that marks us as victorious in this daily thing called life. Being able to infuse joy into the patterns of living—while playing hurt—is one of our greatest earthly challenges. It’s how the champions play. It’s what gets teams into the Super Bowl.
Playing hurt is never as much fun as playing pain-free. Not in football. Not in life. But playing hurt is something that, every now and then, we are forced to play. And sometimes through it, but certainly in the end, we will see beauty in our strength. In playing like a Champion.
Sending you all best wishes this week,
Carolina
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Living on Purpose
“You get whatever accomplishment you are willing to declare.” Georgia O’Keeffe
Since 1998, I have been writing down my yearly goals into my trusty filofax. Always at my side, my red leather journal has been as much a part of me as my smartphone and my lipstick. Many would argue that everything can—and therefore should—be entered into one’s phone: contact information, email histories, word documents, and yes, one’s calendar. But for some reason—perhaps because my learning modality is slanted heavily towards the visual—I am not able to work my calendar from my phone; I need to “see” it. One week at a time. In color. And for that reason, I have relied on my filofax for nearly twenty years to not only keep me organized per a calendar, but to help me record—and regularly review—my written goals across all categories.
Especially now, with everyone seemingly examining their lives in the context of not only a New Year but a New Decade, it is important to reflect on those areas which are deemed most worthy of introspection. Here is how I break it down. As importantly, these are the areas of my life in which I write down realistic, as well as lofty, personal goals: The Powerful Seven
FAITH: Possessing a hunger for relationship with your Creator is an innate human desire. We will never find that for which we were created nor live completely on purpose until we satisfy this yearning. While we will never hold all of the answers, we can and should strive to ask the questions. You were put on this earth for a purpose. Do you know what yours is? Are you being receptive to spiritual forces so that you can become more of the person you were designed to be? Have you acknowledged faith in your life? Do you consider yourself to be a person of faith? If so, are you allowing your Creator to have a role in your life? How large a role? If you believe that you were put on earth to glorify God, what are doing to move closer to that end?
FAMILY: What kind of family do you want to create? Do you prioritize a strong family as one of your life’s goals? If you are an adult viewing family as a child of older parents, are you working within that framework in the most responsible, respectful ways? If you are a parent to young children, do you strive to create happy childhoods for them? Happy childhoods do not happen by chance. They require from you a considerable amount of foresight, energy, and thoughtful planning. Each of those in your charge has unique gifts and talents which need to be brought forward for the benefit of others. What are you doing to nurture these?
FRIENDS: If you have three of them, consider yourself blessed. The average Gen Y’er has 1.7. The average Baby Boomer, between three and four. Do you enjoy making and nurturing close friendships? Or do you prefer building upon hundreds of acquaintances? Social media and the verification of hundreds of Facebook friends might imply that you are working overtime in order to nurture friendships, but are you? Or is this a substitute for the intimacy that only deep friendships can provide, and the commitment of time and energy required to develop them? What specific steps could you take to increase your commitment to friendship?
FINANCIAL: Do you believe that you are financially responsible? Are you meeting your obligations thoughtfully, thoroughly, wisely and cheerfully? Write down ways in which you might realistically tackle current financial challenges as well as provide for the long-term financial goals of your family. Do you need to become more financially literate? Should you increase your savings percentage? Should you be contributing more to investment accounts? Are you making a commitment to helping those less fortunate? Have you explored tithing as a way to further humanity?
FITNESS: Are you keeping yourself fit, strong, and vibrantly healthy? Are you at peak performance? At your ideal weight? Should you incorporate a weight training regimen into your daily work outs? Are you getting enough aerobic exercise? Do you get your heart rate up at least three days per week? Do you enjoy your exercise routine? Is it time to make a change?
FUN: What are your sources of felicity? Are you taking time out of each day to stop and appreciate life? To savor and enjoy it? Have you embraced daily “joie de vivre” breaks? It might be as simple as slowly sipping that first great coffee of the day, being thankful for it, and taking delight in all of its sensory outputs of aroma, heat and richness. Are weekly date nights written into your calendar? Do you enjoy lunches with your favorite friends? Indulge in parties and spontaneous get-togethers? Perhaps you need to take up painting. Or skiing. Or listening to music more frequently during your work day. Maybe you are contemplating a trip abroad as a way to deepen family relationships and create long-lasting memories.
FIND: Find that for which you were created. Figure out why God made you. Discern whether or not you are living on purpose. You cannot possibly figure this out during the hectic, frantic movements of everyday life. You can only get a sense of your destiny when you are willing to spend a good deal of time in meditation, in prayer, and in quiet alone time. Start journaling your thoughts as they come to you. Draw them into an art book. Over time, your life purpose should be made clearer. Once revealed, begin moving confidently in the direction that will allow others to most benefit from your unique gifts and talents. Explore new opportunities that will present themselves to you as you move more purposefully through life.
I strive to align myself daily with my values and goals, and to regularly review my written record of them. By so doing, it seems that I am able to walk down my path with more passion and purpose. That people enter my path and provide wisdom and aid when I need it the most. That I am more able to stay on track and to live more authentically. Regularly reviewing my written goals helps me to look at the big picture and discern whether or not things still make sense, and to have the courage and conviction to change what does not. Hopefully, you will desire for your own life the near-constant striving for a better existence, and will write into place a record which will put your journey in play.
Blessings,
Carolina
Since 1998, I have been writing down my yearly goals into my trusty filofax. Always at my side, my red leather journal has been as much a part of me as my smartphone and my lipstick. Many would argue that everything can—and therefore should—be entered into one’s phone: contact information, email histories, word documents, and yes, one’s calendar. But for some reason—perhaps because my learning modality is slanted heavily towards the visual—I am not able to work my calendar from my phone; I need to “see” it. One week at a time. In color. And for that reason, I have relied on my filofax for nearly twenty years to not only keep me organized per a calendar, but to help me record—and regularly review—my written goals across all categories.
Especially now, with everyone seemingly examining their lives in the context of not only a New Year but a New Decade, it is important to reflect on those areas which are deemed most worthy of introspection. Here is how I break it down. As importantly, these are the areas of my life in which I write down realistic, as well as lofty, personal goals: The Powerful Seven
FAITH: Possessing a hunger for relationship with your Creator is an innate human desire. We will never find that for which we were created nor live completely on purpose until we satisfy this yearning. While we will never hold all of the answers, we can and should strive to ask the questions. You were put on this earth for a purpose. Do you know what yours is? Are you being receptive to spiritual forces so that you can become more of the person you were designed to be? Have you acknowledged faith in your life? Do you consider yourself to be a person of faith? If so, are you allowing your Creator to have a role in your life? How large a role? If you believe that you were put on earth to glorify God, what are doing to move closer to that end?
FAMILY: What kind of family do you want to create? Do you prioritize a strong family as one of your life’s goals? If you are an adult viewing family as a child of older parents, are you working within that framework in the most responsible, respectful ways? If you are a parent to young children, do you strive to create happy childhoods for them? Happy childhoods do not happen by chance. They require from you a considerable amount of foresight, energy, and thoughtful planning. Each of those in your charge has unique gifts and talents which need to be brought forward for the benefit of others. What are you doing to nurture these?
FRIENDS: If you have three of them, consider yourself blessed. The average Gen Y’er has 1.7. The average Baby Boomer, between three and four. Do you enjoy making and nurturing close friendships? Or do you prefer building upon hundreds of acquaintances? Social media and the verification of hundreds of Facebook friends might imply that you are working overtime in order to nurture friendships, but are you? Or is this a substitute for the intimacy that only deep friendships can provide, and the commitment of time and energy required to develop them? What specific steps could you take to increase your commitment to friendship?
FINANCIAL: Do you believe that you are financially responsible? Are you meeting your obligations thoughtfully, thoroughly, wisely and cheerfully? Write down ways in which you might realistically tackle current financial challenges as well as provide for the long-term financial goals of your family. Do you need to become more financially literate? Should you increase your savings percentage? Should you be contributing more to investment accounts? Are you making a commitment to helping those less fortunate? Have you explored tithing as a way to further humanity?
FITNESS: Are you keeping yourself fit, strong, and vibrantly healthy? Are you at peak performance? At your ideal weight? Should you incorporate a weight training regimen into your daily work outs? Are you getting enough aerobic exercise? Do you get your heart rate up at least three days per week? Do you enjoy your exercise routine? Is it time to make a change?
FUN: What are your sources of felicity? Are you taking time out of each day to stop and appreciate life? To savor and enjoy it? Have you embraced daily “joie de vivre” breaks? It might be as simple as slowly sipping that first great coffee of the day, being thankful for it, and taking delight in all of its sensory outputs of aroma, heat and richness. Are weekly date nights written into your calendar? Do you enjoy lunches with your favorite friends? Indulge in parties and spontaneous get-togethers? Perhaps you need to take up painting. Or skiing. Or listening to music more frequently during your work day. Maybe you are contemplating a trip abroad as a way to deepen family relationships and create long-lasting memories.
FIND: Find that for which you were created. Figure out why God made you. Discern whether or not you are living on purpose. You cannot possibly figure this out during the hectic, frantic movements of everyday life. You can only get a sense of your destiny when you are willing to spend a good deal of time in meditation, in prayer, and in quiet alone time. Start journaling your thoughts as they come to you. Draw them into an art book. Over time, your life purpose should be made clearer. Once revealed, begin moving confidently in the direction that will allow others to most benefit from your unique gifts and talents. Explore new opportunities that will present themselves to you as you move more purposefully through life.
I strive to align myself daily with my values and goals, and to regularly review my written record of them. By so doing, it seems that I am able to walk down my path with more passion and purpose. That people enter my path and provide wisdom and aid when I need it the most. That I am more able to stay on track and to live more authentically. Regularly reviewing my written goals helps me to look at the big picture and discern whether or not things still make sense, and to have the courage and conviction to change what does not. Hopefully, you will desire for your own life the near-constant striving for a better existence, and will write into place a record which will put your journey in play.
Blessings,
Carolina
Saturday, November 7, 2009
COUNTRY FRENCH TREASURE HUNT: Let the Fun Begin!
OK. So I created a "Fan Page" on Facebook late Thursday night--I mean late into the wee hours after working a full day at the office (with my first meeting in Greenwich starting at the still-dark-outside time of 6:45 AM)....a long day--and about 36 hours later, shazam! I had 48 fans. Whoa!
I find that amazing! Did you sign up as a fan because you're thinking about joining us in Southwest France next summer for COUNTRY FRENCH TREASURE HUNT & THE ART OF ILLUSTRATED JOURNALING? Are you simply a self-confessed Francophile who is thrilled to find an online soul mate? Supporting me in this most recent endeavor just because you are a kind and wonderful friend and reader? Thinking of taking an escape with your spouse or your college-age son or daughter as a way to explore the world? Maybe you find yourself agreeing on several counts.
Well, I admit: that my contagion about this project is oozing from every pore of my being. I have always wanted to study art in France, always wanted to shop the flea markets and outdoor fairs, always wanted to hunt for treasures in the winding alleyways and off-the-beaten-path shops where I suspect rare finds await me...finds that, honestly, I know I will never uncover stateside. And with three bathrooms left to renovate and decorate in my Connecticut house, I continue to look for inspiration in country French antiques and treasures. I remain attracted to rough textures, painted furniture, wonderful lines and evidence of decades of wear and tear, whether it be on a piece of furniture, in a light fixture, worn into a decorative accessory or in a primitive work of art. I am anxious to slip into my walking shoes and explore the Southwest Perigord region of France. Rural France. The part of France that oftentimes gets overlooked in favor of Paris or Provence. I yearn to uncover the sights and sounds of bustling market days; the aromas of locally baked pastries; the slow indulgences in the wines of the region. I find myself rejuvenated every single day with pure and simple imaginings of just how wonderful this exploration will be. I long to take a “time out,” both physically and emotionally, from the demands of my day job, my life at home and my board and community responsibilities. If only just for twelve days…
And having studied the four illustrated travel books of my colleague and partner, Diana Gessler, I am most anxious to learn how to sketch, draw maps and people and cartoons and caricatures--not to mention paint in watercolors, hand letter factoids and insights...and to learn how to slow down enough in my journeys that I stop and record things artfully. As an oil painter, I have never received instruction in watercolor painting. I actually bought a journal, just like the ones Diana uses for all of her travels large and small, and took it with me on our summer vacation this year to Bermuda. Let me tell you: The Art of Illustrated Journaling is a lot more difficult than it looks to the untrained eye! I really struggled with it. Was completely frustrated by it. My pages looked like a kindergartner did them. My lettering was sloppy and unprofessional looking. So it is with great anticipation to be able to sit at the feet of the master and learn how to illustrate with confidence. With joy! To create works that I will be proud to pass down to my kids and my grandkids one day. I look forward to traveling the world and recording each and every trip in handpainted images, with beautiful lettering and wonderful inscriptions, in the hope that they will be treasured by my family. That they might be humble heirlooms, appreciated and prized long after I am gone by those nearest and dearest to me. Like my art. My hand-hooked rugs. And needlepointed belts. Treasured like the artfully-constructed photo albums of our own family’s history of life on earth together.
And I admit that I frankly never even thought about illustrated travel journals until I met Diana and really got to know her. I always thought that one was to record travel in photographs and perhaps, in written journal form. So this whole concept was new to me too! Refreshingly new! And I embrace it with expectant optimism and a sense of adventure!
Take a peek at these photos of the Dordogne region where we will be traveling. And visit our itinerary at: http://rousset-perigord.org for all the information you need. If you'd like to receive a hard copy of the brochure, registration form and terms & conditions sheet, please send an email to me at: emomrx@yahoo.com with your mailing address and I'll send these to you via snail mail. Also feel free to call Dr. Beverly Held, who holds a Ph.D. in Art History from the University of Michigan and who has developed and offered over 2000 Cultural & Culinary educational programs for 15 years. Dr. Held has been exploring France for the past two decades and thoughtfully renovated Petit Rousset, the 18th-century farmhouse and art studio which will be our home for ten days this summer. She will gladly take your call at: (415) 933-9799.
We'd love to have you join us! Our philosophy: “Chez Nous-Chez Vous.” We want you to feel at home in our little paradise.
Until next time, all blessings!
Carolina
I find that amazing! Did you sign up as a fan because you're thinking about joining us in Southwest France next summer for COUNTRY FRENCH TREASURE HUNT & THE ART OF ILLUSTRATED JOURNALING? Are you simply a self-confessed Francophile who is thrilled to find an online soul mate? Supporting me in this most recent endeavor just because you are a kind and wonderful friend and reader? Thinking of taking an escape with your spouse or your college-age son or daughter as a way to explore the world? Maybe you find yourself agreeing on several counts.
Well, I admit: that my contagion about this project is oozing from every pore of my being. I have always wanted to study art in France, always wanted to shop the flea markets and outdoor fairs, always wanted to hunt for treasures in the winding alleyways and off-the-beaten-path shops where I suspect rare finds await me...finds that, honestly, I know I will never uncover stateside. And with three bathrooms left to renovate and decorate in my Connecticut house, I continue to look for inspiration in country French antiques and treasures. I remain attracted to rough textures, painted furniture, wonderful lines and evidence of decades of wear and tear, whether it be on a piece of furniture, in a light fixture, worn into a decorative accessory or in a primitive work of art. I am anxious to slip into my walking shoes and explore the Southwest Perigord region of France. Rural France. The part of France that oftentimes gets overlooked in favor of Paris or Provence. I yearn to uncover the sights and sounds of bustling market days; the aromas of locally baked pastries; the slow indulgences in the wines of the region. I find myself rejuvenated every single day with pure and simple imaginings of just how wonderful this exploration will be. I long to take a “time out,” both physically and emotionally, from the demands of my day job, my life at home and my board and community responsibilities. If only just for twelve days…
And having studied the four illustrated travel books of my colleague and partner, Diana Gessler, I am most anxious to learn how to sketch, draw maps and people and cartoons and caricatures--not to mention paint in watercolors, hand letter factoids and insights...and to learn how to slow down enough in my journeys that I stop and record things artfully. As an oil painter, I have never received instruction in watercolor painting. I actually bought a journal, just like the ones Diana uses for all of her travels large and small, and took it with me on our summer vacation this year to Bermuda. Let me tell you: The Art of Illustrated Journaling is a lot more difficult than it looks to the untrained eye! I really struggled with it. Was completely frustrated by it. My pages looked like a kindergartner did them. My lettering was sloppy and unprofessional looking. So it is with great anticipation to be able to sit at the feet of the master and learn how to illustrate with confidence. With joy! To create works that I will be proud to pass down to my kids and my grandkids one day. I look forward to traveling the world and recording each and every trip in handpainted images, with beautiful lettering and wonderful inscriptions, in the hope that they will be treasured by my family. That they might be humble heirlooms, appreciated and prized long after I am gone by those nearest and dearest to me. Like my art. My hand-hooked rugs. And needlepointed belts. Treasured like the artfully-constructed photo albums of our own family’s history of life on earth together.
And I admit that I frankly never even thought about illustrated travel journals until I met Diana and really got to know her. I always thought that one was to record travel in photographs and perhaps, in written journal form. So this whole concept was new to me too! Refreshingly new! And I embrace it with expectant optimism and a sense of adventure!
Take a peek at these photos of the Dordogne region where we will be traveling. And visit our itinerary at: http://rousset-perigord.org for all the information you need. If you'd like to receive a hard copy of the brochure, registration form and terms & conditions sheet, please send an email to me at: emomrx@yahoo.com with your mailing address and I'll send these to you via snail mail. Also feel free to call Dr. Beverly Held, who holds a Ph.D. in Art History from the University of Michigan and who has developed and offered over 2000 Cultural & Culinary educational programs for 15 years. Dr. Held has been exploring France for the past two decades and thoughtfully renovated Petit Rousset, the 18th-century farmhouse and art studio which will be our home for ten days this summer. She will gladly take your call at: (415) 933-9799.
We'd love to have you join us! Our philosophy: “Chez Nous-Chez Vous.” We want you to feel at home in our little paradise.
Until next time, all blessings!
Carolina
Monday, October 12, 2009
Country French Treasure Hunt & The Art of Illustrated Journaling
The inspiration for Country French Kitchens, the book, arose from percolating design ideas during the course of several trips to Paris, armchair travel to Provence…and my own frustration at the lack of resources available for developing an American translation of this style. You can view the results of my own country French kitchen installation via video on my amazon.com author’s page. While it doesn’t show you the entire room, it gives you a glimpse into some of the solutions that my renovation offered me and my family for the space.
Since then, I have been looking forward to further travel to France, to scout local markets, explore those rural villages which time constraints had never before allowed, and shop for the Provencal fabrics, pottery and glassware that I currently purchase stateside.
A dream come true, I will be leading a group of students in a sojourn to Southwest France, specifically the Dordogne region, in July-August of next year. As a group, we will hunt for country French treasures, scavenging the countryside in search for all things beautiful and wonderful. I’m teaming up with fellow teacher Diana Gessler, a gallery-represented fine artist and author of five books, four of which are bestselling illustrated travel books. Her latest, Very Washington, DC, earned her a signing at the Smithsonian's Museum of Natural History. Diana will be teaching The Art of Illustrated Journaling, as she has found that her students are able to beautifully illustrate their own travel experiences in their own developed style, once techniques in pen and ink drawing, watercolor washes and map-drawing, caricature doodling and fancy lettering are taught. Diana has been illustrating her own world travels in journals for the past 30 years. Her students testify that she has forever changed not only the way they travel and the way that they "see" places, people and experiences; indeed, they claim that she has changed their lives.
We will, together, explore the beautiful Dordogne region of Southwest France, named for the river that runs through it, and have timed the trip to take advantage of the many brocantes (open-air antique fairs) and vide-greniers (open-air flea markets) that the area has to offer during these twelve days of our trip. Hunting for country French treasures for our own homes and for permanent capture into our personal illustrated travel journals, we'll wander quaint villages, scavenge the markets, and explore the true rural countryside, enjoying French food and wine in the process. On-site instruction in The Art of Illustrated Journaling and Country French Design will occur both in the newly-renovated art studio of the 18th-century farmhouse, Petit Rousset, which will be our home for twelve days, as well as during our day trips to these various markets, fairs and other noteworthy excursions.
During a recent corporate breakfast of the global investment bank from which I run my daytime advisory practice, the keynote speaker, Jonathan Clements, co-author of The Little Book of Main Street Money, noted three financial goals that appeal to the cave dweller in each of us. The second goal is to “build a life of thoughtful progress.” He advises us to “spend our money on building life experiences.”
“You’ll always have Paris,” he told the audience. Travel, unlike shopping trips to department stores to buy expensive merchandise which yields temporary pleasure, gives you more and better memories over the years. It helps you build a life of thoughtful progress.
We'd love for you to build memories and make “thoughtful progress” by joining us in France. Please visit our online page for terms and a registration form, as well as our brochure:
http://www.rousset-perigord.org/LPRLibrary/2010/gessler-fernandez.shtml.
Feel free to call me with any questions (203.942.8282). If you are unable to join us but know of a world-traveling or Francophile friend, please ask them to contact me at: emomrx@yahoo.com or to call me to discuss. The trip is limited to 18 guests.
Until next time, sending all my very best!
Carolina
Since then, I have been looking forward to further travel to France, to scout local markets, explore those rural villages which time constraints had never before allowed, and shop for the Provencal fabrics, pottery and glassware that I currently purchase stateside.
A dream come true, I will be leading a group of students in a sojourn to Southwest France, specifically the Dordogne region, in July-August of next year. As a group, we will hunt for country French treasures, scavenging the countryside in search for all things beautiful and wonderful. I’m teaming up with fellow teacher Diana Gessler, a gallery-represented fine artist and author of five books, four of which are bestselling illustrated travel books. Her latest, Very Washington, DC, earned her a signing at the Smithsonian's Museum of Natural History. Diana will be teaching The Art of Illustrated Journaling, as she has found that her students are able to beautifully illustrate their own travel experiences in their own developed style, once techniques in pen and ink drawing, watercolor washes and map-drawing, caricature doodling and fancy lettering are taught. Diana has been illustrating her own world travels in journals for the past 30 years. Her students testify that she has forever changed not only the way they travel and the way that they "see" places, people and experiences; indeed, they claim that she has changed their lives.
We will, together, explore the beautiful Dordogne region of Southwest France, named for the river that runs through it, and have timed the trip to take advantage of the many brocantes (open-air antique fairs) and vide-greniers (open-air flea markets) that the area has to offer during these twelve days of our trip. Hunting for country French treasures for our own homes and for permanent capture into our personal illustrated travel journals, we'll wander quaint villages, scavenge the markets, and explore the true rural countryside, enjoying French food and wine in the process. On-site instruction in The Art of Illustrated Journaling and Country French Design will occur both in the newly-renovated art studio of the 18th-century farmhouse, Petit Rousset, which will be our home for twelve days, as well as during our day trips to these various markets, fairs and other noteworthy excursions.
During a recent corporate breakfast of the global investment bank from which I run my daytime advisory practice, the keynote speaker, Jonathan Clements, co-author of The Little Book of Main Street Money, noted three financial goals that appeal to the cave dweller in each of us. The second goal is to “build a life of thoughtful progress.” He advises us to “spend our money on building life experiences.”
“You’ll always have Paris,” he told the audience. Travel, unlike shopping trips to department stores to buy expensive merchandise which yields temporary pleasure, gives you more and better memories over the years. It helps you build a life of thoughtful progress.
We'd love for you to build memories and make “thoughtful progress” by joining us in France. Please visit our online page for terms and a registration form, as well as our brochure:
http://www.rousset-perigord.org/LPRLibrary/2010/gessler-fernandez.shtml.
Feel free to call me with any questions (203.942.8282). If you are unable to join us but know of a world-traveling or Francophile friend, please ask them to contact me at: emomrx@yahoo.com or to call me to discuss. The trip is limited to 18 guests.
Until next time, sending all my very best!
Carolina
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Country French Design Inspiration in the Dordogne!
Stay tuned for the itinerary on an upcoming Arts Education trip to the Dordogne region of Southwest France, named for the river that runs through it. With my friend and colleague Diana Gessler, we'll be teaching The Art of Illustrated Journaling as well as Country French Design via our very own Treasure Hunt! Learn how to capture travel memories permanently in your own handpainted, hand-rendered journal using time-tested techniques of five-time author Diana Gessler, along with tips from Country French Kitchens author Carolina Fernandez. Record your adventures in pen and ink drawings, watercolor washes, creative doodling, caricatures of the people we'll encounter on our day trips, quirky maps and individualized comments during this twelve day sojourn. We will scavenge the brocantes (open-air antique fairs) and vide-greniers (open-air flea markets) in the quaint villages on our journey; peek our heads into authentic country French kitchens; shop for locally made fabrics, pottery and produce; and enjoy glorious French food and wine along the way. We'll explore lands inhabited since prehistoric times, including the charming villages of Eymet, Bergerac, Ste. Alvere, Monpazier and Sarlat, among others. Details forthcoming! We'd love you to join us!
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