I’m noticing it everywhere. In the people in my office. In business associates. Clients. Early morning television hosts. The neighbors.
The shock has worn off and reality has set in: we’re in a new place now.
At first, some of us were in near-panic mode. Utter shock and disbelief at what had happened to our economy. And then that of other countries. Incredulous at the collapse of Bear Stearns and then of Lehman, the news of corporations running into problems and banks asking for money, we now roll monikers like TARP off our tongues as easily as we blab iPod or Blackberry (it hasn’t been that many years since these two came off the shelves y’know); and understand how derivatives and credit default swaps work almost as much as we understand the way furnaces heat our homes or oil lubricates our engines. Bernie Madoff? A household name. Ditto for John Thain, Ken Lewis and Jeffrey Immelt.
Incredible.
So this is our new normal. And parts of it are absolutely wonderful (OK. Not the Madoff part. But he’s in jail now.)
I believe it is wonderful that people are taking more responsibility for their personal finances. That they are questioning the way their money is being handled. That they are starting to understand what they own and why they own it.
I believe it is wonderful that the age of selfish indulgence is at least temporarily suspended. A fun story on NPR this morning charted the lessons a young gal is learning about coping through these new times. And she was lamenting that she has given up her daily five-word-long, brewed-in, several-dollars-at-a-pop Starbucks for a generic brand that she makes herself at home. Poor thing. I mean seriously. What have we come to? My own almost-eighty-year-old mother has never enjoyed a cup of Starbucks on her own nickel. And didn’t know what to do with the corrugated cardboard sleeve when I handed her one!
I believe it is wonderful that we are finally starting to look at price tags when we shop for clothing. That it’s suddenly cool again to wear “gently worn” suits or carry leather handbags purchased from your local consignment shop.
That we are questioning the need for gadgetry when we know darn well that simple tools and appliances usually do the trick. That expensive, flashy cars don’t really get us to where we need to go any more reliably than more vanilla models. That dinners in are usually more nutritious than dinners out.
I believe it is wonderful that families are helping family members who have temporarily been displaced out of jobs and of homes. Taking adult children and their kids in. Pitching in as families have always pitched in.
2009 is going to be about recalibrating. For whether you realize you are doing it or not, you are changing something about the way you do things. You are doing one of the above. Or you are re-thinking your line of work. Or your travel plans for spring break. Or your summer vacation. Or the colleges on your family’s wish list. Or your eating patterns and entertaining habits. Your driving routines. Dry cleaning needs. I have noticed in my many daily conversations with clients and with friends: we are coming to accept this new realty as just that. It’s our new reality. And so we better smile and make the best of it.
Recalibrate. In order to best serve you and your family’s needs. Or of your clients or customers. Your professional integrity or the probability of ensuring longevity in your line of work. Recalibrate to preserve your physical and mental health. To save yourself. Recalibrate to regain your spiritual bearings. To become centered.
Recalibration. That’s what’s ahead for us in 2009. For all of us. Whether we want it or realize it. Or not.
Recalibration holds enormous opportunities for blessings and for growth! I hope you start looking for them, reaching out to others who might help you find them, and discover something new about life. About yourself.
Blessings,
Carolina
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Monday, March 2, 2009
Sneaux Day!
OK. It’s corny. Just keeping up the French/Gleaux thing……
We’re covered in at least 8 inches of fresh powder. And it’s still coming down. Glorious! As I sit at my desk in my third floor office, on top of a ridge in this tiny New England town of ours, I stare out my windows, which frame brown tree limbs, starkly rising, and sometimes swaying, in this winter wonderland of white. The wind howls; I hear it through the glass. As it blows, ice-laden snow swirls across the window panes, giving sound to the otherwise silent, beautiful scene.
Turning my thermostat up just one more degree, I gaze out, mind spinning with thoughts of everything I want to accomplish on this snow day.
Snow days are like free days. Pure gifts. Expanded time. With no ability to get to my office nearly a one-hour drive away from home—or not until my plow guy comes to rescue me anyway—I automatically saved two full hours which would have been spent just driving! My pool is closed as well; riding my stationary bike in my basement “gym” will save me another hour and a half. And aaah! The rare treat of the no make-up-pantyhose-high-heels-getting-dolled-up ritual just landed me another free thirty minutes. Snow day math!
Trying not to hyperventilate with this newly-found time on my hands, with full mug of coffee at fingertips, I plan to:
• Put in my daily quiet time. Read. Reflect. Pray.
• Catch up on all personal emails.
• Write this newsletter.
• Log into my work system and do everything I possibly can while working remote. Answer all emails. Keep tabs on the market. Make outgoing phone calls. Turn on cable business TV programs. I will try my darndest to work during market hours only. (Snow days are gifts, after all. Other work calls too!)
• Eat breakfast with my hubby. What a rare treat! I’m usually out the door before the sun comes up.
• Catch up on laundry during short work breaks. (I can almost never get completely caught up during normal work weeks. Can you?)
• Eat lunch with the kids. Whoa. Another rarity. (I think I’ll make hot chocolate. Williams Sonoma has the best mix ever. Have you tried their handmade marshmallows? Yummo.)
• Put a chicken in the oven and let it slow-roast all day. (Dinner on the table on a work night? Are you kidding?)
• Finish a book proposal. (Even with that industry in depression, it doesn’t hurt to keep trying!)
• Try to organize my thoughts and make lists for all the stuff I’m behind in. (Where do I start. I feel myself hyperventilating a bit: kids school papers, board responsibilities, thank you notes, organizing old magazines, de-cluttering the kitchen. Go into attack mode once the markets close.)
• Work on photo albums after dinner. (Nick will graduate in May and when asked if he’d rather I make him a hand-stitched needlepoint belt or present him with a photo book of his life, he said he wanted the book of his life. Wild! So I need to get crackin’. Lesson I learned: don’t under-estimate those precious photos! Put them in good order and try not to get hopelessly behind. Your kids treasure them more than you might realize.)
• Assemble four sunshine baskets. (Every month, I try to get four baskets delivered to people in need of a bit of cheer. I keep my eyes and ears open for someone who has just had surgery, lost a job, is faced with a major illness or accident. It never fails; there are always at least four people a month. I save the wooden cartons that tangerines are packed in and use them for the base. Then I stuff them with paper filler and load them up with as many treats as fit in. Small treats. Could be French soaps, chocolate bars, a pack of stationery, tiny gift book. Simple things which might bring a bit of cheer to someone’s day. Try it. If everyone who reads this newsletter makes four baskets a month, we could be a few thousand points of light to people who need that energy!)
That’s it. That’s my snow day planned out. Mental free-for-all. If you live on the east coast, chances are, you’re snowed-in too. Don’t squander this time! Catch up on sleep and then, fly! And if you aren’t living under a snow drift right now, well, carry on, do your thing and make a difference in one way or another today. At least make a sunshine basket. Or two.
Blessings on your day!
Carolina
We’re covered in at least 8 inches of fresh powder. And it’s still coming down. Glorious! As I sit at my desk in my third floor office, on top of a ridge in this tiny New England town of ours, I stare out my windows, which frame brown tree limbs, starkly rising, and sometimes swaying, in this winter wonderland of white. The wind howls; I hear it through the glass. As it blows, ice-laden snow swirls across the window panes, giving sound to the otherwise silent, beautiful scene.
Turning my thermostat up just one more degree, I gaze out, mind spinning with thoughts of everything I want to accomplish on this snow day.
Snow days are like free days. Pure gifts. Expanded time. With no ability to get to my office nearly a one-hour drive away from home—or not until my plow guy comes to rescue me anyway—I automatically saved two full hours which would have been spent just driving! My pool is closed as well; riding my stationary bike in my basement “gym” will save me another hour and a half. And aaah! The rare treat of the no make-up-pantyhose-high-heels-getting-dolled-up ritual just landed me another free thirty minutes. Snow day math!
Trying not to hyperventilate with this newly-found time on my hands, with full mug of coffee at fingertips, I plan to:
• Put in my daily quiet time. Read. Reflect. Pray.
• Catch up on all personal emails.
• Write this newsletter.
• Log into my work system and do everything I possibly can while working remote. Answer all emails. Keep tabs on the market. Make outgoing phone calls. Turn on cable business TV programs. I will try my darndest to work during market hours only. (Snow days are gifts, after all. Other work calls too!)
• Eat breakfast with my hubby. What a rare treat! I’m usually out the door before the sun comes up.
• Catch up on laundry during short work breaks. (I can almost never get completely caught up during normal work weeks. Can you?)
• Eat lunch with the kids. Whoa. Another rarity. (I think I’ll make hot chocolate. Williams Sonoma has the best mix ever. Have you tried their handmade marshmallows? Yummo.)
• Put a chicken in the oven and let it slow-roast all day. (Dinner on the table on a work night? Are you kidding?)
• Finish a book proposal. (Even with that industry in depression, it doesn’t hurt to keep trying!)
• Try to organize my thoughts and make lists for all the stuff I’m behind in. (Where do I start. I feel myself hyperventilating a bit: kids school papers, board responsibilities, thank you notes, organizing old magazines, de-cluttering the kitchen. Go into attack mode once the markets close.)
• Work on photo albums after dinner. (Nick will graduate in May and when asked if he’d rather I make him a hand-stitched needlepoint belt or present him with a photo book of his life, he said he wanted the book of his life. Wild! So I need to get crackin’. Lesson I learned: don’t under-estimate those precious photos! Put them in good order and try not to get hopelessly behind. Your kids treasure them more than you might realize.)
• Assemble four sunshine baskets. (Every month, I try to get four baskets delivered to people in need of a bit of cheer. I keep my eyes and ears open for someone who has just had surgery, lost a job, is faced with a major illness or accident. It never fails; there are always at least four people a month. I save the wooden cartons that tangerines are packed in and use them for the base. Then I stuff them with paper filler and load them up with as many treats as fit in. Small treats. Could be French soaps, chocolate bars, a pack of stationery, tiny gift book. Simple things which might bring a bit of cheer to someone’s day. Try it. If everyone who reads this newsletter makes four baskets a month, we could be a few thousand points of light to people who need that energy!)
That’s it. That’s my snow day planned out. Mental free-for-all. If you live on the east coast, chances are, you’re snowed-in too. Don’t squander this time! Catch up on sleep and then, fly! And if you aren’t living under a snow drift right now, well, carry on, do your thing and make a difference in one way or another today. At least make a sunshine basket. Or two.
Blessings on your day!
Carolina
Sunday, February 22, 2009
She's Got Moxie
When our daughter was a freshman in high school, we encouraged her to audition for a role in her high school play. She had always expressed—since she was a toddler—interest in drama, be it in commercials, TV…or on our kitchen floor with some antics she had invented on her own.
So her lack of interest in auditioning for her school play, based on the fact that “only seniors” are allowed to be the lead, and “if I can’t be the lead, I don’t want to be in it” was met with a gentle rebuke on my part of just how presumptuous (arrogant?) that attitude was.
“You need to work yourself up to the lead, hon.You can’t just expect to be given the lead role until you’ve paid your dues for the three years leading up to senior year” was my motherly advice.
Undaunted, she stood her ground and, to my amazement, would truly have rather sat in the audience and watched the play than been in it with a minor role.
Our only daughter has always had a singular focus on what she wants. Like a bull in a china closet, she sets her eye on a goal and then just busts through until she gets it.
A couple of years ago, she set her sights on the Jonas Brothers. Literally and without reservation. They became a young teen girl’s obsession, one which we thought would quickly pass. But oh no. Every song was memorized. Every performance recorded. Every tune downloaded, poster hung, t-shirt bought.
Her dream had been, from the moment she laid eyes on them, to one day meet them. Either shake their hands or get their autographs or sit close enough at a concert to get within eye range.
So when she found out last month that MTV was putting on a contest for the Jonas Brother’s #1 fans in the Tri-State area, she knew she had to enter. She insisted that she was, indeed, their #1 fan. And this might be, after all, her best shot of achieving her life dream.
The contest called for her to gather her BFF’s and shoot a short video that captured how they were their #1 fans and why they should win the contest. A whirlwind of activities—amidst finals, travel volleyball, babysitting and violin lessons (homework?)—resulted in them submitting their video on time and earning a place in the MTV studios last weekend. She and her two also-Jonas-Brothers-#1-fans-best friends threw themselves into the project with abandon. Knocked themselves out. Bought adorable outfits accented with hot pink tights and lime green Converse hightops for the big day when they would hang out at the studios hoping to enter the finals.
Contest rules prevent me from going any further. But if you’d like to see how the story ends, please look for details at the end of this newsletter.
Bottom line: a singular focus requires vision unlike anything anyone else will hold for you. It requires gritting your teeth when the going gets tough, and dusting the dirt off your jeans when you fall on your butt. It requires holding your head high when everyone else tells you you’re nuts. And just sticking through it when the odds are stacked completely against you.
It usually results in several detours, U-turns and yield curves along the way, throwing you off path when you least expect it. It also typically comes with a “death of vision” before the story is fully told. Just when you think you are close to finishing the deal, a major door gets slammed in your face.
Our daughter’s case involved all of this. But it’s also a story of not quitting before the miracle.
Perhaps you’re there right now. Working at something that looks hopeless. That’s against all odds. You’re down and out. Broke and broken. Ready to throw in the towel.
I’d invite you to give it just a little bit more time. Get through this week. Rent Bottle Shock on cable; it’s a story of grit and grind and falling off the horse and persevering when the odds are completely stacked against you.
Or tune in to MTV on Monday night, February 23 at 6:00 PM to see how my daughter’s dream played out.
Until next week, sending all my very best,
Carolina
So her lack of interest in auditioning for her school play, based on the fact that “only seniors” are allowed to be the lead, and “if I can’t be the lead, I don’t want to be in it” was met with a gentle rebuke on my part of just how presumptuous (arrogant?) that attitude was.
“You need to work yourself up to the lead, hon.You can’t just expect to be given the lead role until you’ve paid your dues for the three years leading up to senior year” was my motherly advice.
Undaunted, she stood her ground and, to my amazement, would truly have rather sat in the audience and watched the play than been in it with a minor role.
Our only daughter has always had a singular focus on what she wants. Like a bull in a china closet, she sets her eye on a goal and then just busts through until she gets it.
A couple of years ago, she set her sights on the Jonas Brothers. Literally and without reservation. They became a young teen girl’s obsession, one which we thought would quickly pass. But oh no. Every song was memorized. Every performance recorded. Every tune downloaded, poster hung, t-shirt bought.
Her dream had been, from the moment she laid eyes on them, to one day meet them. Either shake their hands or get their autographs or sit close enough at a concert to get within eye range.
So when she found out last month that MTV was putting on a contest for the Jonas Brother’s #1 fans in the Tri-State area, she knew she had to enter. She insisted that she was, indeed, their #1 fan. And this might be, after all, her best shot of achieving her life dream.
The contest called for her to gather her BFF’s and shoot a short video that captured how they were their #1 fans and why they should win the contest. A whirlwind of activities—amidst finals, travel volleyball, babysitting and violin lessons (homework?)—resulted in them submitting their video on time and earning a place in the MTV studios last weekend. She and her two also-Jonas-Brothers-#1-fans-best friends threw themselves into the project with abandon. Knocked themselves out. Bought adorable outfits accented with hot pink tights and lime green Converse hightops for the big day when they would hang out at the studios hoping to enter the finals.
Contest rules prevent me from going any further. But if you’d like to see how the story ends, please look for details at the end of this newsletter.
Bottom line: a singular focus requires vision unlike anything anyone else will hold for you. It requires gritting your teeth when the going gets tough, and dusting the dirt off your jeans when you fall on your butt. It requires holding your head high when everyone else tells you you’re nuts. And just sticking through it when the odds are stacked completely against you.
It usually results in several detours, U-turns and yield curves along the way, throwing you off path when you least expect it. It also typically comes with a “death of vision” before the story is fully told. Just when you think you are close to finishing the deal, a major door gets slammed in your face.
Our daughter’s case involved all of this. But it’s also a story of not quitting before the miracle.
Perhaps you’re there right now. Working at something that looks hopeless. That’s against all odds. You’re down and out. Broke and broken. Ready to throw in the towel.
I’d invite you to give it just a little bit more time. Get through this week. Rent Bottle Shock on cable; it’s a story of grit and grind and falling off the horse and persevering when the odds are completely stacked against you.
Or tune in to MTV on Monday night, February 23 at 6:00 PM to see how my daughter’s dream played out.
Until next week, sending all my very best,
Carolina
Sunday, February 1, 2009
What Women Really Want: Beyond Budgets and Botox
Several months ago, one of the members of my PWAC group (Professional Women’s Advisory Council)—which will be celebrating its one-year anniversary this month!—told me that she’d been giving a lot of thought to the comments of her female patients. A plastic surgeon, she was more intimately involved with them than most docs. And she found herself talking with them a lot, as one might expect a female doc to do, and hearing five resounding themes:
• women want to be beautiful and really like their faces, skin and bodies
• women want to become financially independent
• women want a female legal advocate
• women want to be deemed physically sensuous and enjoy beauty in their personal spaces
• women want to strive towards spiritual maturity and find meaning and purpose in life
She noodled on these conversations for months, trying to figure out how she might help her patients move more effectively towards these five goals while at the same time, meet the challenges of her own practice and its inherent limitations, as she believed herself to be professionally qualified in just one of these areas.
We met for coffee and she shared with me her concerns as well as a vision of how fellow women professionals might help women find what they really wanted. And would I have an interest in playing a role.
My immediate “of course!” has taken us, along with three others, to organize an event this week for women throughout Fairfield County who are seeking answers to some—if not all—of these issues. From consults with my plastic surgeon doctor friend to free facials to learning more about budgets and Botox: we will, together, aim to move more women forward.
Even as one of the five chosen to be part of this exciting evening, I find myself searching for answers as well. For trying to make more sense out of the nonsense going on all around us. Of reaching for books off my library shelf for a second read. Keeping the nightlight on past bedtime to read just one more chapter of a novella on spirituality. Trying to regain a calming, affirming sense of peace in this otherwise turbulent time. Confirming purpose. For faith is the one constant in life. Let’s face it: our bodies will age and our eyelids will droop; our finances will flux; we probably won’t confront legal issues on most days; and we will feel more sensuous some days and much less on others. But faith endures. Seeking spiritual maturity, walking further down the journey is something which, when strived for, only grows deeper with the passing years.
These other issues are important. Vitally so. And I am a firm believer that, as women, we need to get a grip in each one of these other areas. From my perch, too, I hear these same themes day in and day out. And I think that especially now, we yearn for extra compasses to mark our paths. For more clearly defined data points from which to draw conclusions and chart new paths.
We’re expecting almost two hundred women at our event. If you are just now reading this for the first time and would like to come, please, just shoot me an email. We’d love to fix you a wholesome goddess potion and introduce you to some women who may change your life! Information empowers people. And we want to be there as a way to give back to the community that information which has been hard-earned by each one of us over the course of our professional careers.
What women really want is information to make empowered decisions. To lead well-intentioned lives. To create lives worth living.
I hope you’ll join me!
All my best,
Carolina
• women want to be beautiful and really like their faces, skin and bodies
• women want to become financially independent
• women want a female legal advocate
• women want to be deemed physically sensuous and enjoy beauty in their personal spaces
• women want to strive towards spiritual maturity and find meaning and purpose in life
She noodled on these conversations for months, trying to figure out how she might help her patients move more effectively towards these five goals while at the same time, meet the challenges of her own practice and its inherent limitations, as she believed herself to be professionally qualified in just one of these areas.
We met for coffee and she shared with me her concerns as well as a vision of how fellow women professionals might help women find what they really wanted. And would I have an interest in playing a role.
My immediate “of course!” has taken us, along with three others, to organize an event this week for women throughout Fairfield County who are seeking answers to some—if not all—of these issues. From consults with my plastic surgeon doctor friend to free facials to learning more about budgets and Botox: we will, together, aim to move more women forward.
Even as one of the five chosen to be part of this exciting evening, I find myself searching for answers as well. For trying to make more sense out of the nonsense going on all around us. Of reaching for books off my library shelf for a second read. Keeping the nightlight on past bedtime to read just one more chapter of a novella on spirituality. Trying to regain a calming, affirming sense of peace in this otherwise turbulent time. Confirming purpose. For faith is the one constant in life. Let’s face it: our bodies will age and our eyelids will droop; our finances will flux; we probably won’t confront legal issues on most days; and we will feel more sensuous some days and much less on others. But faith endures. Seeking spiritual maturity, walking further down the journey is something which, when strived for, only grows deeper with the passing years.
These other issues are important. Vitally so. And I am a firm believer that, as women, we need to get a grip in each one of these other areas. From my perch, too, I hear these same themes day in and day out. And I think that especially now, we yearn for extra compasses to mark our paths. For more clearly defined data points from which to draw conclusions and chart new paths.
We’re expecting almost two hundred women at our event. If you are just now reading this for the first time and would like to come, please, just shoot me an email. We’d love to fix you a wholesome goddess potion and introduce you to some women who may change your life! Information empowers people. And we want to be there as a way to give back to the community that information which has been hard-earned by each one of us over the course of our professional careers.
What women really want is information to make empowered decisions. To lead well-intentioned lives. To create lives worth living.
I hope you’ll join me!
All my best,
Carolina
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Circulating
Razor-cutting layoffs. Breaking contracts. Combining offices. Consolidating businesses. Declining earnings. Foreclosing mortgages.
The headlines give me headaches.
My day job puts me in the epicenter of the swirl of the financial world. News spinning around the globe has the potential to put me into a downward spiral and true blue funk by dinnertime.
We’re all affected by these events in one way or another. Can’t escape them. No where to hide. The trickle-down effect has monumental implications. One person’s job loss means one neighborhood foreclosure and all of a sudden, your home, thousands of miles away, is devalued. Or the goods and services that you lovingly present to the world have become, on a dime, completely devalued. Practically worthless in our global economy. Your bottom line is now in sight as never before and you, too, question the validity of your livelihood, your prospects for career survival and your long-term outlook for your chosen profession. For just when we thought it was safe to go outside again, we see darkness lurking in every corner. Even attorneys, who reside in one of the very few professions that have always been thought to be recession-proof, are suddenly witnessing massive layoffs and office closings. (See today’s feature article in the Wall Street Journal).
But take heart. There’s always reinvention.
I love the whole concept of reinvention. In fact, I’m not quite sure it’s really fair to call it that. I view it more as “continually striving to become the person who God designed you to become.” Moving toward the Promise Land of flowing milk and honey. Eventually finding and doing that for which you were created. Spending years in jobs and homes and physical locations as training grounds for that which you were really made for. Being placed in circumstances with people who you might find wonderful or irritating as a way to build character. Performing repetitive acts day in and day out not as the fatal end of a life spend in torture, but as preparation for the glorious work you are supposed to be doing as you mature toward your ultimate destiny.
People accuse me of constantly reinventing myself. And I’m always simultaneously amused and flattered by it. Because they mean well. But I view reinvention as a way of continually working on myself. Always stretching. Enduring growing pains along the way which cause me enough discomfort to figure out how best to move forward. How to finally bask in the light of what I was put on earth to do.
One of the best ways to reinvent yourself—to grow into your completed self—is by throwing yourself out there. Fully. Circulating. Of putting yourself in unfamiliar surroundings, talking to unfamiliar people about unfamiliar things. And then walking away, perhaps scratching your head, wondering “What in the heck was that all about?” Last week I allowed myself a one-hour weekday lunch-hour visit to a Jin Shin Jyutsu practitioner for a complimentary treatment. The practitioner is a member of my BNI group, and she offers all members a complimentary one- hour visit. Having no earthly idea what to expect, me being a practicing, very Western Christian with little exposure to Eastern traditions, I was hesitant. Not overly excited about the prospect. Slightly unnerved by it actually. Totally out of my comfort zone. It turned out to be a wonderfully relaxing experience which was honestly exactly what I needed to reduce my level of toxic stress which had been building up in my body over these last, what, eighteen months?
Most people I talk with these days are in dire need of reinvention. Out of work with no idea where to run or how to move forward, they have little comprehension of the why and the how of getting out there moving again. Of circulating among the living. Of going to parties or of actually throwing one of their own. Of accepting luncheon invitations or meeting a friend for morning coffee. Of asking “who do you know?” to mere acquaintances.
I’ve always enjoyed inviting perfect strangers to dinner. Or someone “dangerous” to tea. It’s simultaneously invigorating and wildly uncomfortable. Living in the uncomfortable zone is a whole lot more threatening than playing all the time in the safety zone. Or, as they say: “If you’re not living on the edge, you’re taking up too much space.”
Please take a peek at a few of the events in which I’m participating in these next couple of weeks. If you need to reinvent yourself or you just need to get out and meet some new and interesting people, I invite you to circulate with me. Circulating is invigorating. Energizing. It leaves one feeling wildly and optimistically expectant and open to all that one’s mind can imagine and believe.
I hope to bump into you soon!
Blessings,
Carolina
The headlines give me headaches.
My day job puts me in the epicenter of the swirl of the financial world. News spinning around the globe has the potential to put me into a downward spiral and true blue funk by dinnertime.
We’re all affected by these events in one way or another. Can’t escape them. No where to hide. The trickle-down effect has monumental implications. One person’s job loss means one neighborhood foreclosure and all of a sudden, your home, thousands of miles away, is devalued. Or the goods and services that you lovingly present to the world have become, on a dime, completely devalued. Practically worthless in our global economy. Your bottom line is now in sight as never before and you, too, question the validity of your livelihood, your prospects for career survival and your long-term outlook for your chosen profession. For just when we thought it was safe to go outside again, we see darkness lurking in every corner. Even attorneys, who reside in one of the very few professions that have always been thought to be recession-proof, are suddenly witnessing massive layoffs and office closings. (See today’s feature article in the Wall Street Journal).
But take heart. There’s always reinvention.
I love the whole concept of reinvention. In fact, I’m not quite sure it’s really fair to call it that. I view it more as “continually striving to become the person who God designed you to become.” Moving toward the Promise Land of flowing milk and honey. Eventually finding and doing that for which you were created. Spending years in jobs and homes and physical locations as training grounds for that which you were really made for. Being placed in circumstances with people who you might find wonderful or irritating as a way to build character. Performing repetitive acts day in and day out not as the fatal end of a life spend in torture, but as preparation for the glorious work you are supposed to be doing as you mature toward your ultimate destiny.
People accuse me of constantly reinventing myself. And I’m always simultaneously amused and flattered by it. Because they mean well. But I view reinvention as a way of continually working on myself. Always stretching. Enduring growing pains along the way which cause me enough discomfort to figure out how best to move forward. How to finally bask in the light of what I was put on earth to do.
One of the best ways to reinvent yourself—to grow into your completed self—is by throwing yourself out there. Fully. Circulating. Of putting yourself in unfamiliar surroundings, talking to unfamiliar people about unfamiliar things. And then walking away, perhaps scratching your head, wondering “What in the heck was that all about?” Last week I allowed myself a one-hour weekday lunch-hour visit to a Jin Shin Jyutsu practitioner for a complimentary treatment. The practitioner is a member of my BNI group, and she offers all members a complimentary one- hour visit. Having no earthly idea what to expect, me being a practicing, very Western Christian with little exposure to Eastern traditions, I was hesitant. Not overly excited about the prospect. Slightly unnerved by it actually. Totally out of my comfort zone. It turned out to be a wonderfully relaxing experience which was honestly exactly what I needed to reduce my level of toxic stress which had been building up in my body over these last, what, eighteen months?
Most people I talk with these days are in dire need of reinvention. Out of work with no idea where to run or how to move forward, they have little comprehension of the why and the how of getting out there moving again. Of circulating among the living. Of going to parties or of actually throwing one of their own. Of accepting luncheon invitations or meeting a friend for morning coffee. Of asking “who do you know?” to mere acquaintances.
I’ve always enjoyed inviting perfect strangers to dinner. Or someone “dangerous” to tea. It’s simultaneously invigorating and wildly uncomfortable. Living in the uncomfortable zone is a whole lot more threatening than playing all the time in the safety zone. Or, as they say: “If you’re not living on the edge, you’re taking up too much space.”
Please take a peek at a few of the events in which I’m participating in these next couple of weeks. If you need to reinvent yourself or you just need to get out and meet some new and interesting people, I invite you to circulate with me. Circulating is invigorating. Energizing. It leaves one feeling wildly and optimistically expectant and open to all that one’s mind can imagine and believe.
I hope to bump into you soon!
Blessings,
Carolina
The 7th F: Why “Find” Should Be One of Your New Year’s Goals
Over the years, as I’ve written out my New Year’s goals, I have usually confined them to easily identifiable chunks, following a simple prescription of “the 6 F’s.” My husband, aiming to simplify-simplify-simplify, keeps it at just that: we have four kids and being Fernandez’s, we are, quite simply, the six F’s. And so we use this as a sort of model for goal-casting. Let me walk you through how we do it.
Faith: We set goals that help us walk a little further down our faith journeys. I wrote a goal of daily reading of the Scriptures, of daily prayer. I also admire the author Eugene Peterson, and I always have a yearly goal of reading more of his work. Perhaps you’ve been yearning to take a class or join a small group of like-minded souls who will come along side you in your faith walk. Commit your faith-based goals to paper.
Family: Developing wonderful families does not happen by chance. It takes insight, thoughtful planning, commitment, time, energy and passion. What simple rituals could you put into place that would enrich your family relationships? Daily walks together? Reading the classics aloud each night? Playing Scrabble together on the weekends? Dinner around the dining room table? An annual ski trip? Summers at the beach? Commitment to your kids’ sports schedules? Sitting with them while they practice the violin?
Friends: What do you need to do to continue your relationships well into your golden years? Do you have long-term friendships? What has kept these friendships alive? Sending birthday gifts and cards? Once-a-year trips together? Shopping? Frequent emails or phone calls? Dinners out? What could you be doing proactively that would ensure that these relationships stay healthy and strong?
Financial: Are you financially independent? If not, what steps should you take in order to move you closer to it? Can you pay down your debt? Look for a sideline job? Re-enter the workforce? Save more? Freeze lifestyle? With most people taking a significant whack to net worth in 2008, we are all thinking about the state of our finances and specifically, what we need to do to regain lost positions.
Fitness: Are you strong? Do your eyes radiate perfect health? Are you flexible? Can you maintain aerobic exercise for twenty minutes seven days a week? Are you committed to an exercise regimen? For how long? Which days of the week?
Fun: Do you look forward to each new day? If not, why not? What do you want to change about your daily existence that would bring more enjoyment to life? Take up painting? See more movies? Read more books? Spend more time with your kids? See more of the world? Give more to philanthropic organizations that bring you joy?
So there you have it. “The 6 F’s.” But the most intriguing “F” to me is the seventh one. “Find.”
Find that for which you were created.
God had a great idea when He created you. He had something in mind for you to do. A reason to put you on this earth. A mission. A purpose. Have you figured it out yet? One of man’s instinctual drivers is to seek that for which he was made.
As you write out your yearly goals, I would encourage you to spend a good deal of time reflecting on just this. It’s not something that most of us can easily or quickly do. For as time passes and we grow up, we soon discover that there are always new things that we are supposed to be doing. When we’re young, we’re supposed to be good students. And perhaps, if we’ve been blessed with giftedness in a specific area, perhaps with athletic prowess or musical or artistic ability, we are of course required to explore it and to use it. But as we get older and assume greater worldly responsibilities to family and kids and career, we often lose sight of what we were put on this earth to do. Meditate on this. Imagine possibilities. Allow yourself to think of the bodacious. Crazy big.
People who habitually write down their goals have a higher probability of achieving them. Study after study has shown this to be true. Commit to writing them down before the week is over. Give yourself the license to enjoy quiet contemplation. As the weeks go on, consistently review these written goals. Make yourself accountable towards achieving them. And, moving forward, watch your dreams unfold.
God bless,
Carolina
Faith: We set goals that help us walk a little further down our faith journeys. I wrote a goal of daily reading of the Scriptures, of daily prayer. I also admire the author Eugene Peterson, and I always have a yearly goal of reading more of his work. Perhaps you’ve been yearning to take a class or join a small group of like-minded souls who will come along side you in your faith walk. Commit your faith-based goals to paper.
Family: Developing wonderful families does not happen by chance. It takes insight, thoughtful planning, commitment, time, energy and passion. What simple rituals could you put into place that would enrich your family relationships? Daily walks together? Reading the classics aloud each night? Playing Scrabble together on the weekends? Dinner around the dining room table? An annual ski trip? Summers at the beach? Commitment to your kids’ sports schedules? Sitting with them while they practice the violin?
Friends: What do you need to do to continue your relationships well into your golden years? Do you have long-term friendships? What has kept these friendships alive? Sending birthday gifts and cards? Once-a-year trips together? Shopping? Frequent emails or phone calls? Dinners out? What could you be doing proactively that would ensure that these relationships stay healthy and strong?
Financial: Are you financially independent? If not, what steps should you take in order to move you closer to it? Can you pay down your debt? Look for a sideline job? Re-enter the workforce? Save more? Freeze lifestyle? With most people taking a significant whack to net worth in 2008, we are all thinking about the state of our finances and specifically, what we need to do to regain lost positions.
Fitness: Are you strong? Do your eyes radiate perfect health? Are you flexible? Can you maintain aerobic exercise for twenty minutes seven days a week? Are you committed to an exercise regimen? For how long? Which days of the week?
Fun: Do you look forward to each new day? If not, why not? What do you want to change about your daily existence that would bring more enjoyment to life? Take up painting? See more movies? Read more books? Spend more time with your kids? See more of the world? Give more to philanthropic organizations that bring you joy?
So there you have it. “The 6 F’s.” But the most intriguing “F” to me is the seventh one. “Find.”
Find that for which you were created.
God had a great idea when He created you. He had something in mind for you to do. A reason to put you on this earth. A mission. A purpose. Have you figured it out yet? One of man’s instinctual drivers is to seek that for which he was made.
As you write out your yearly goals, I would encourage you to spend a good deal of time reflecting on just this. It’s not something that most of us can easily or quickly do. For as time passes and we grow up, we soon discover that there are always new things that we are supposed to be doing. When we’re young, we’re supposed to be good students. And perhaps, if we’ve been blessed with giftedness in a specific area, perhaps with athletic prowess or musical or artistic ability, we are of course required to explore it and to use it. But as we get older and assume greater worldly responsibilities to family and kids and career, we often lose sight of what we were put on this earth to do. Meditate on this. Imagine possibilities. Allow yourself to think of the bodacious. Crazy big.
People who habitually write down their goals have a higher probability of achieving them. Study after study has shown this to be true. Commit to writing them down before the week is over. Give yourself the license to enjoy quiet contemplation. As the weeks go on, consistently review these written goals. Make yourself accountable towards achieving them. And, moving forward, watch your dreams unfold.
God bless,
Carolina
Stretch Forth Thy Hand
Last night I held what will be the first of more than a dozen country French-style diners in my home to support local charitable organizations. From Habitat for Humanity to the arts organizations which enrich our area, these “dining for dollars” events were first conceived as a way to reach beyond the normal boundaries of a book.
I had this idea that my book, ground-breaking in the sense that it was the first of its kind to address a highly-niched area of interior design, Country French Kitchens could be used for a greater good. That although it is certainly lovely and serves as both a widely-read reference book for design professionals and artists, as well as a book for renovators, remodelers, design-book addicts and Francophiles, that perhaps it could be used in a way to expand the boundaries. That it could be an engine-driver for philanthropy.
More than a dozen of these dinners have been bid on at local live auctions, held at yearly galas, and have brought in somewhere in the neighborhood of $30,000 for philanthropic endeavors of all kinds. And that’s a really neat thing.
Last night’s dinner was one of two that were the result of a bidding war between two friends. They each hit their bidding limit and, each hating to lose, asked me if I would do two dinners instead. Because it raised double the amount of money for the charity, I gladly obliged. The other winning bidder will come with her guests next Saturday.
I headed for the grocer straight from my early morning tennis game. My preference is to support locally-owned merchants who carry locally-grown produce. Ah! What a delightful Saturday morning ritual this has become for me. Fully–awakened by a solid hour-and-a-half of chasing down tennis balls, along with a thermos of downed hot coffee, I always arrive at the grocery store early enough to avoid all crowds.
Scanning the bakery isles left me with only a French baguette, which would be used a few hours later for sopping up a fabulous feast of fresh mussels in white wine sauce.
The gourmet cheese isle was full of delicacies. My personal favorite, a Danish bleu, was swept up for the planned endive salad with roasted walnuts and pears, which, when drizzled with a homemade emulsion, would prove to be the perfect precursor to the entree.
It was on to the fresh produce isle, where it was time to pick up the most aromatic herbs I could find. Sprigs of thyme, rosemary and flat-leaf parsley would all find their way into my shopping cart. Rosemary would coat the roasted, buttery cashews which, served hot, would greet my guests upon their arrival; thyme and parsley would work itself into the boiling broth of chicken stock and white wine where the mussels quickly cooked. Fresh Brussels sprouts, sautéed in my giant copper pan, proved earthy and nutty, and oh-so-flavorful with a few pieces of thick-cut bacon added for good measure (is there anything that isn’t made wonderful with the addition of a little bacon?)
The dairy isle held heavy cream, a required mainstay in my crème brulee. That, along with real unsalted butter and high-quality, extra virgin olive oil, provide all of the fat one’s diet requires (along with real ice cream of course). No artificial ingredients in diary allowed!
A bone-in veal loin was cut by the butcher. Oh my goodness was it divine! Hearty and flavorful, with a sauce whisked with chicken broth and the bits from the bottom of the pan (among others) gave it the soothing quality for which I was striving (and my body craved.)
Speaking of soothing: there’s just nothing like crème brulee for that final spoonful. My fourteen-year-old son loved using the kitchen torch to give each individual serving that fabulous crusty top; his reward was two servings instead of one and mine was watching him gobble it up with pure delight.
I confess to being a lousy Monday-to-Friday cook. Work gets in my way. As does my long commute, football carpool and frankly, physical and mental weariness at the end of most days. Weekdays find us “catch as catch can.” Grazing. Noshing on naked deli meats and cheeses. Nuts and fruits. Raw veggies or good organic soups, even though they usually come from a can. Pitiful as it might sound, it remains my weekday dinner MO.
So when the luxury of a weekend day comes when I have nothing else to do but prepare for a dinner party, I find it—surprisingly—absolutely delightful. I love primping my house: fluffing the pillows on the sofas and lighting the candle in their sconces; arranging flowers into a container and re-arranging chairs around the dining room table; polishing the silver and ironing the linens; pre-heating my oven and warming up my heart for service to others.
Entertaining requires a focus on others. And away from self. For it is such a time-consuming process that all thoughts of self must be essentially abandoned. No time for a manicure if the hors d’ oeuvres must be prepared pronto. Forget worrying about dressing like a glamour-puss when you’ll be popping your head into and out of a hot oven and thrusting your arms into sinks of sudsy water. Throw away those spike heels for a decent pair of ballet flats as you’ll be on your legs for a good eight hours or so.
Entertaining requires lifting your spirits in order to lift those of your guests. It means taking your mind off your troubles and seeking to make everyone around you at ease. Of laughing, of extending, of reaching beyond your comfort zone when breaking bread with complete strangers whom you have worked for since dawn in order to create an evening to remember.
“Be careful to entertain strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.” This is the Old Testament verse from the Bible which I have personally claimed as my command for hospitality. Interesting or surprising at it may be, after all the groceries have been procured and put away, after all the dishes have been prepared and consumed, and after all the dishes have been washed and dried and put back in their place, it is always—always!—me, the entertainer, who has received the richest blessing. To fill the stomach of a friend or a stranger, to serve in the humblest of ways, brings the mightiest of rewards.
It is my hope this week that you might outstretch your hand to someone who could use a dose of nourishment. Bodily or otherwise. For by nourishing, you will be nourished. In the exhaustion of the aftermath of your evening, you will find refreshment of soul. And when you awaken in the morning, you will be at peace with the world.
Sending to you all blessings on your week,
Carolina
I had this idea that my book, ground-breaking in the sense that it was the first of its kind to address a highly-niched area of interior design, Country French Kitchens could be used for a greater good. That although it is certainly lovely and serves as both a widely-read reference book for design professionals and artists, as well as a book for renovators, remodelers, design-book addicts and Francophiles, that perhaps it could be used in a way to expand the boundaries. That it could be an engine-driver for philanthropy.
More than a dozen of these dinners have been bid on at local live auctions, held at yearly galas, and have brought in somewhere in the neighborhood of $30,000 for philanthropic endeavors of all kinds. And that’s a really neat thing.
Last night’s dinner was one of two that were the result of a bidding war between two friends. They each hit their bidding limit and, each hating to lose, asked me if I would do two dinners instead. Because it raised double the amount of money for the charity, I gladly obliged. The other winning bidder will come with her guests next Saturday.
I headed for the grocer straight from my early morning tennis game. My preference is to support locally-owned merchants who carry locally-grown produce. Ah! What a delightful Saturday morning ritual this has become for me. Fully–awakened by a solid hour-and-a-half of chasing down tennis balls, along with a thermos of downed hot coffee, I always arrive at the grocery store early enough to avoid all crowds.
Scanning the bakery isles left me with only a French baguette, which would be used a few hours later for sopping up a fabulous feast of fresh mussels in white wine sauce.
The gourmet cheese isle was full of delicacies. My personal favorite, a Danish bleu, was swept up for the planned endive salad with roasted walnuts and pears, which, when drizzled with a homemade emulsion, would prove to be the perfect precursor to the entree.
It was on to the fresh produce isle, where it was time to pick up the most aromatic herbs I could find. Sprigs of thyme, rosemary and flat-leaf parsley would all find their way into my shopping cart. Rosemary would coat the roasted, buttery cashews which, served hot, would greet my guests upon their arrival; thyme and parsley would work itself into the boiling broth of chicken stock and white wine where the mussels quickly cooked. Fresh Brussels sprouts, sautéed in my giant copper pan, proved earthy and nutty, and oh-so-flavorful with a few pieces of thick-cut bacon added for good measure (is there anything that isn’t made wonderful with the addition of a little bacon?)
The dairy isle held heavy cream, a required mainstay in my crème brulee. That, along with real unsalted butter and high-quality, extra virgin olive oil, provide all of the fat one’s diet requires (along with real ice cream of course). No artificial ingredients in diary allowed!
A bone-in veal loin was cut by the butcher. Oh my goodness was it divine! Hearty and flavorful, with a sauce whisked with chicken broth and the bits from the bottom of the pan (among others) gave it the soothing quality for which I was striving (and my body craved.)
Speaking of soothing: there’s just nothing like crème brulee for that final spoonful. My fourteen-year-old son loved using the kitchen torch to give each individual serving that fabulous crusty top; his reward was two servings instead of one and mine was watching him gobble it up with pure delight.
I confess to being a lousy Monday-to-Friday cook. Work gets in my way. As does my long commute, football carpool and frankly, physical and mental weariness at the end of most days. Weekdays find us “catch as catch can.” Grazing. Noshing on naked deli meats and cheeses. Nuts and fruits. Raw veggies or good organic soups, even though they usually come from a can. Pitiful as it might sound, it remains my weekday dinner MO.
So when the luxury of a weekend day comes when I have nothing else to do but prepare for a dinner party, I find it—surprisingly—absolutely delightful. I love primping my house: fluffing the pillows on the sofas and lighting the candle in their sconces; arranging flowers into a container and re-arranging chairs around the dining room table; polishing the silver and ironing the linens; pre-heating my oven and warming up my heart for service to others.
Entertaining requires a focus on others. And away from self. For it is such a time-consuming process that all thoughts of self must be essentially abandoned. No time for a manicure if the hors d’ oeuvres must be prepared pronto. Forget worrying about dressing like a glamour-puss when you’ll be popping your head into and out of a hot oven and thrusting your arms into sinks of sudsy water. Throw away those spike heels for a decent pair of ballet flats as you’ll be on your legs for a good eight hours or so.
Entertaining requires lifting your spirits in order to lift those of your guests. It means taking your mind off your troubles and seeking to make everyone around you at ease. Of laughing, of extending, of reaching beyond your comfort zone when breaking bread with complete strangers whom you have worked for since dawn in order to create an evening to remember.
“Be careful to entertain strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.” This is the Old Testament verse from the Bible which I have personally claimed as my command for hospitality. Interesting or surprising at it may be, after all the groceries have been procured and put away, after all the dishes have been prepared and consumed, and after all the dishes have been washed and dried and put back in their place, it is always—always!—me, the entertainer, who has received the richest blessing. To fill the stomach of a friend or a stranger, to serve in the humblest of ways, brings the mightiest of rewards.
It is my hope this week that you might outstretch your hand to someone who could use a dose of nourishment. Bodily or otherwise. For by nourishing, you will be nourished. In the exhaustion of the aftermath of your evening, you will find refreshment of soul. And when you awaken in the morning, you will be at peace with the world.
Sending to you all blessings on your week,
Carolina
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